by H.Bangambiki
http://www.laughingtonpost.com
The Styles and Methods of Power
Power is the ability to get things done--your way. Sometimes it's a
direct order that you give, sometimes a suggestion you make, or a
request or the asking of a favor; but the result (if you have power)
is always that the other person acts and you derive a benefit from
the other person's actions.
One can have power in many different ways. You have it over your
employees because you pay their salaries. If you are an expert in a
special field, it's because you know the best way to handle matters.
In a legal dispute, it's because you have the law on your side. If
you have credit cards, it can be part of your life style to go into a
store, hotel or restaurant, in any city, and order whatever you wish.
In politics, it's because folks will give you their votes, hoping that
you'll work and succeed in getting the government to serve them in
their area. And there's the power that derives from being talented,
charming and capable; of being up-to-the-minute and knowledgeable, so
people know if they let you handle things for them or listen to your
advice, they'll come out ahead.
One more aspect of power. This concerns competition. If all the world
were fair and equal, one would have no need for the upper hand, for
the advantage, for power. But, of course, the world isn't. Which often
means that in a competitive situation you cannot merely settle for an
equal chance. You must keep your eyes and ears, and indeed all your
faculties, open for any clue or other tips that will move the balance
in your favor. Whenever possible, make sure you get more than an
equal chance.
You have to look the part
People are impressed by how a man looks. They are often not aware of
exactly why they treat one man like a VIP and another gets the bum's
rush. Their reactions maybe subliminal, below their conscious
awareness. But take it from me, if you're well dressed, neatly
groomed, hair
trimmed, etc., and are driving a snazzy car, you'll be well received;
while a guy who's wearing sloppy clothes, unshaven and unclean, and
who's driving an old heap, will hardly get any attention at all. Look
as good as you can; and back it up in other ways.
Add the other elements of power image too. Clothing--it's worth
investing some money to be well dressed. Buy suits on time payments
if you can (a credit card is very useful for this).
1.That way the clothes are helping to get power, and therefore money,
for you while you are paying for
them.
2.Don't forget about the car you drive around in; if the one you have
is not impressive then rent one that is. Rental cars don't cost that
much and driving a good one pays dividends in the power sphere.
3.Try to join clubs and organizations (business, social, political)
that have important and influential members. If at first you can't
become a member, then maneuver a member into taking you as his guest.
Money and power beget money and power; the more they think you have,
the more you'll get.
We must repeat that, for most people, those who belong to the power
elite are those that appear to belong to it. Unless recognized
personally, a millionaire will be turned away from a class restaurant
if he's not well dressed.
You have to consciously act the part of one who is used to being in command
There's another extremely important factor in appearing to already
have money and power beyond what I mentioned above and that is your
own manner of doing things. You must move, speak and act power. Have
you ever met the grandson of a man who amassed a fortune and wondered
how a grandfather who did so much could have a grandson who seems like
such a weakling? It's true; that grandson could never get rich on his
own; if he hadn't inherited his family's money, he'd be poor because
he's weak and incompetent. And it shows. The men who, like yourself,
are capable of making money now, are men who can act in a strong style
that almost seems to draw money like a magnet. Language, and the way
you speak, can say as much as the ideas in your words. Equally
important, however, is your body language, that is the way you stand,
walk, move and sit and the gestures you make.
Be the man who's in demand
Power isn't just you being able to call someone and tell him what to
do; it's also other men calling you and asking for your business or
wanting to associate with you. If you're a man who seems to possess a
wide knowledge of the world, an awareness of trends, if you're the
early-bird who
catches sight of opportunities first, if you're the man who's capable
of handling many different kinds of situations, then people will seek
you out. They'll invite you to vacation at their country homes, to
meet their influential associates, to join their social clubs and
their business syndicates. And when they do, all of these will
enhance your image of power, and widen your power base so you can
zoom ahead even more.
When the fight for power gets harder
Everything we've said so far will be useful in just about every
situation; but when the struggle for power gets more intense, some
other methods are needed. When the person(s) you're talking to has
been open-minded and your powers of persuasion have been working from
the moment you first started talking, the usual techniques can be
used. But what if you're dealing with someone whose mind is closed to
your ideas and influence from the start, or who feels he is in direct
competition with you? Then things must be handled somewhat
differently.
Most important, be in control of the situation at all times. If you
feel your control is slipping, do something to regain it. You could
do something vividly dramatic and totally bewildering to the other
person, like suddenly shouting or pounding on your desk. Or you could
press a secret buzzer to have someone rush in and interrupt when the
other side is coming on too strong.
Never ever get into a power struggle when you're at any kind of a
disadvantage; if you're tired or if the discussion turns to a subject
in which the other guy is an expert. Always focus your own mental
energy and project your thoughts into his mind. Look him in the eyes,
try to gain his confidence. Always have a picture in your mind of a
victory over this person bigger than the victory you need to achieve
your aims. And whatever you do don't lose; that is, if you realize
that you can't beat him, then leave. It's better not to have a
victory than to have a defeat.
Say Whatever does the Trick
Making a lot of money is largely a process of convincing people, of
selling yourself, your service, your product. And the trick is to
tell them what they want to hear. The problem is to find out what they
want to hear. So you'll start out by giving them basic information
about what you're
selling. You then continue with your sales approach, always watching
their reactions carefully. When you see their eyes light up and they
then lean forward with interest, then continue on the topic that
aroused that interest, no matter how odd it may seem to you. And do
the opposite
when you reach any of the usual parts of your presentation, if the
prospect shows less than the normal amount of interest; that is,
shorten that part and go on to the next.
From start to finish
You start out by telling them what the product or service is or does.
The kinds of benefits people get from using it and some examples of
ways, both usual and unusual, that other folks have used it. It often
helps to mention that "Mr. Anderson, you know, the big shot, just
bought two of
them for his own use," or that "the XYZ Corporation recently bought
seven of them for their executives." Or if you're selling a more
heavy duty item, that "Smith's Construction Company has been using
them for years." If it's almost a custom made item tell them they're
one of the select
few who will even get a chance to buy it. If you have an opportunity
to talk to his wife or a friend of his, plan along with that other
person and have them unknowingly hinting to the customer that "it
certainly sounds like a good deal." If his kids are with him, get
them to needle him into buying it. Use any method that works.
Suppose the guy seems convinced but he can't seem to make up his mind
to actually hand over the money or sign the contract to make the
purchase. Sometimes it helps to imply that he really can't afford it.
He might buy it just to show you he isn't poor or a cheapskate.
Another great strategy that sometimes works in desperation to close a
sale is to make him feel guilty if he doesn't buy. Imply that he
deliberately wasted your time and energy, that he's rotten and
thoughtless, that he just wanted to make a phony impression on his
wife or girl friend or anyone who is there with him. You might want to
say all this very loudly, almost yelling, so that a crowd gathers and
you shame him into buying. Or you can try another method to clinch the
sale, offer him a "special bonus." Say you'll give him a longer time
to pay, or a contract for "free" servicing or that you'll add on a
bonus of another item "free". Actually he may have been entitled to
this "extra" all along, but if you haven't yet mentioned it, then
now's the time. Try to keep one or two things in reserve as your last
pieces of ammunition.
Prepare in advance so you know the other man's point of view; if
you're able to benefit him, he'll practically jump at the chance to
let you make money off him. Tell him what he wants to hear. And above
all, keep eyes and ears open for any information, clues or tip-offs,
favorable or unfavorable, that will give you the power to persuade
him.
In the power battle called life, victory will go to those who find the
right weapons and use them. So keep your weapons handy; get a head
start and don't lose it. Be alert for clues you can use to your
advantage. Present yourself with confidence; broadcast your will
power, speak and move with assurance, and, to make sure they get the
message, have the clothes car, office and the other outer appearances
of power and money. People tend to believe what they see, and if you
look like you've got it made, then you will have it made.
How To Master The Art Of Compromise
In many cases all you will be able to get by being persistent is a
compromise. Compromises are good. They get you one step[ further that
you were in the first place. If for some reason, such as self respect,
you can't accept a compromise, then don't. Give whatever you can
offer. If you do this you may not get any type of settlement in your
favor. Here are steps that will show you how to compromise so that you
get the best of the bargain:
Tell The Person Exactly What You Want
Tell the person exactly what you want in terms he will understand: "I
want more..."
Persist
You must get past the other's person's excuses and alibis. You must be
persistent until you feel you have hit the other person's
bottom line. You may find that the other person is trying to
manipulate you. Be persistent until that person has stopped all
his manipulation.
If You Are Unsure
If you don't know what they want, then don't make a decision. You must
think the situation over before you make a compromise. If you need
more time, tell the other person that you need more time. Make sure
that you can live with the compromise you have made before you make
it.
How To Deal With Useless Criticism
Some criticism you get is in poor taste. We must know how to deal with
criticism such as: "You look terrible today" or, "You left this in my
way, you idiot." Make sure this kind of criticism useless, follow
these steps.
Agree With The Facts
Agree with the facts the other person presents. For example, in
response to "You look terrible today," say, "I haven't been feeling
too well lately"; in response to "You left this in my way you idiot,"
say, "Yes, I did leave it in your way." Answer only what was actually
said, not what was implied.
How To Answer
Stay calm and collected during the whole conservation. Don't lose your
temper. The only way a person will make you feel degraded is if you
degrade yourself. You don't want to waste your time which this type of
person, so don't defend yourself or attack him.
If You Made A Mistake
If you made a mistake, accept that fact. Don't accept the quilt for
the mistake. If you were in error, then apologize. If you apologize,
don't make a big thing out of it. Don't tell them how dreadfully sorry
you are, etc. Just give them a plain "I'm sorry."
How To Deal With Important Criticism
When you get important criticism, you want to know how to get the best
out of it. Useful criticism is one of the best ways to make
yourself into a better person. Follow these steps to get the most out
of useful criticism.
Ask For Feedback
Find out exactly what others object to about you. If someone tells you
"You are bad," that's not good enough. Find out exactly
why that person thinks that way. Be very persisent find out why the
other person feels the way he does. Vague criticism is worthless to
you.
Guess At Reason
If a person refuses to give you reasons for criticizing you, keep
guessing at your faults until you get the right one. This may be
the only way to find out what displeases the other person.
Don't Be Defensive
If you act defensively, you may not be able to benefit from useful
criticism. Don't be sarcastic or intimidate the other
person. You want to learn how to become a better person from the criticism.
Ask the person how you can change your objectionable behavior; be open
to reasonable suggestions.
How To Get Your Coworkers And Your Superiors To Like You
Good relations with your co workers and your superiors will not only
help you but will make work more enjoyable. Every employee
wants to be liked by other employees. If you treat people the way they
want to be treated, they will like you. Some of us don't
know if what we do is objectionable to others. I am going to give you
a list of things that attract other people to you and things
they find objectionable. When you move up in the company, you will
need all the support you can get.
Praise People
Everybody enjoys being praised. People look for approval of themselves
in others. But you should praise people only when they
deserve it. If you praise people when they don't deserve it, or if you
praise too much, you lose your credibility. Don't
exaggerate your praise. Make the praise as warm and sincere as you can.
Don't Put People Down
Putting down a person can be very damaging to you and the other
person's relationship wit you. People don't want to feel degraded
by being called stupid, crazy, weird, etc. Don't put down anyone even
if they are not present. If you do, the word will get back
to them and you will look bad. Always talk positively about people.
Even if you don't like them, still speak highly of them you will be
amazed at what this does. If you must say something bad, don't say
anything at all.
Don't Be Concerned With Your Interests Only
here is nothing wrong with caring and looking out for yourself. Just
don't make it noticeable to other people. You will be
resented by other people if you seem selfish. Make sure others know
you look out for them as well yourself.
Share The Credit
When others have helped you accomplish something, share the credit
with them. Even if their contribution was not as great as
yours, still share the credit with them. You will be surprised
Don't Ask Others To Do For You What You Won't Do For Them
If you are unwilling to go out of your way for people, don't expect
them to go out of their way for you. Set the first
example if you help them, they will help you.
Always Show Appreciation
Everyone wants approval and recognition for what they have done. If
someone helps you in any way, tell him how much you appreciate his
actions. If you don't, he may not help you again. This is what you
should tell people when you show your appreciation: "I really
appreciate the way you..."; "Thank you very much for..."; "You are
very good at...": "I really want to tell you how much I
appreciated..."; "You were very nice to..." Don't show too much
approval and recognition or it will lose its credibility.
Don't "Show Up" Others
When you "show up" others you do it at their expense. "Showing up"
people in front of others takes away their self respect. If
you are better than others, they will know it you don't have to degrade them.
Treat Small Things With Importance
Some things that seem small to you mean a great deal to others. Don't
ignore small problems; help people solve them. Treating
small problems with importance shows other people you care.
Care About People
Everybody is concerned about themselves and it is important for them
to have someone to care for them. They are touched when you care about
them. Helping people cope with life makes people feel that you care
about them.
Don't Criticize A Person In Front Of Others
If you criticise someone in front of others, he will always resent
you. It is one of the most degrading things you can do. If you
criticize someone, criticize him constructively and privately.
Give People Your Undivided Attention
All people want to fell important. To make a person feel important you
must give him your undivided attention when communicating with him.
Get rid of all interruptions. Make sure you have good eye contact and
that you are not playing with objects.
Be Courteous, Tactful, Polite and Diplomatic
Everyone appreciates people who are courteous,tactful, polite and
diplomatic. The best way to learn these qualities is from others.
Study someone you would like to be like and learn how he conducts himself.
Be Confident
If you don't have confidence in yourself, others will not have
confidence in you, either. People admire and respect confident
people. If you show others doubt, they will treat you with doubt. Be
sure of yourself and play down your insecurities.
Winners and Losers
"She's a winner!" He's a real loser". We frequently hear people
labeled as winners or losers. We seem to instinctively know the
difference.
Many years ago, I saved a poem that discusses the difference between
winners and losers. I don't know who wrote it, but I'll tip my hat to
her or him, because the poem captured the essence of character that
distinguishes winners from losers. I'll share it with you now with my
thoughts.
BE A WINNER!
Right here in the title is an acknowledgment of what most people want.
To be a winner. To feel like a winner. With all the talk of win- win
thinking, we still want to be a winner and to enjoy the positive
emotions that accompany being a winner.
Winners make commitments
Losers make promises
While some people do treat their promises as commitments, many make
empty promises knowing that they may not actually perform. The meaning
of this stanza is clear; When winners make a commitment, they see it
through to completion. You can count on a winner to come through.
Winners go through a problem
Losers go around it, never get past it
This little-known secret of winners is powerful. When encountering a
problem, don't just work around it this one time. Why not over-
respond? Solve the problem then keep going to solve the source of the
problem. Fix it for good, not just for now.
Winners say, "Let's find out"
Losers say, "Nobody knows"
An insatiable curiosity allows winners to explore the source of
opportunities as well as the source of problems. This makes it more
likely that the winner will develop even more opportunities while
solving the source of recurring problems. It also turns out that
genuine curiosity about other people is one of the secrets to
increasing sales, improving customer service and strengthening
relationships.
Winners always have a plan
Losers always have an excuse
Have you noticed that successful people seem to know where they're
going and what they want? It's no coincidence that winners have a
plan. The process of thinking through the issue of what's important,
allows the winners to keep a clear vision of the future and outline a
path to get there. They routinely examine their mission by asking
"where am I going with this", and "how will I accomplish my goals?"
Winners say "There's a better way"
Losers say, "It's the way it's always been done"
Continuous improvement is one of the hallmarks of successful people.
Their motto is "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing better". Losers
just keep on doing the same old things yet they expect different
results.
Winners are always involved in the answer
Losers are always part of the problem
Winners are not whiners. Instead of complaining about a problem (or
just sitting there being part of the problem), winners jump in looking
for a solution. No blame, no pointing fingers, no belly- aching. Just
fix it and move on.
Winners know there is still much to learn
Losers want to be considered an expert before knowing how little is known
We've all encountered people who want to be "the expert", even though
their expertise is out-of-date, incomplete, or overestimated. You
won't find them in classes, in the library or in deep debate. Winners
understand that knowledge has a short shelf-life. Winners also
appreciate that, to be valuable to clients, they must constantly
explore the limits of their knowledge.
Winners learn from their mistakes
Losers learn only not to make mistakes by not trying anything different
Winners are opportunistic about learning from daily experiences. All
of us have hundreds of experiences each day that could be valuable
learning opportunities. Losers ignore them and surf the shallow
surface of their knowledge. Winners understand that learning in
today's fast-paced and ever- changing environment can't be left to
chance. Successful people make a conscious effort to actively seek new
ideas, innovation and growth.
There you have it. Is this the complete list of the characteristics of
successful people? Surely not. There are as many types of winners as
there are winners. To me, the poem addresses the fundamental qualities
of being a winner. It captures the spirit of open-mindness, strength
and compassion that makes winners and winning attractive.
Be a winner!
To your Success
H.Bangambiki
http://www.laughingtonpost.com
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